Sunday, January 16, 2011

Moving On To Tomorrow

The last few weeks have been hard and being the emotional mess that I am, my perspective has been skewed, leaving me with the feeling that I am on a downward spiral with no way to get up. I thought slides were supposed to be fun, at least that was my understanding as a child? How am I supposed to reach Happily Ever After when "nothing" seems to be going right?

Nothing (n): the accumulation of events that stack upon one another no matter what you do to stop them. i.e. Tornados, multiple miscarriages, dental problems, medical tests, piling medical bills, sucky job situations, anxiety attacks, feeling like a failure, etc.

I've reached the point where I know that outside assistance will be necessary to help my view of life become more colorful.

Today was the start of that journey. Jeff and I went into to seek some guidance. I unloaded my feelings and asked the question that has been weighing me down for days, "How am I supposed to find hope and carry one when NOTHING ever goes my way?"

The solution? My definition of nothing must be revised.

Nothing (n) :an exaggeration

Simple as that. The truth is that some things are still good. I have a husband who loves me dearly and will do whatever it takes to make my load a little lighter. I have great friends and family who bring me dinners when I am in the "depths of despair." Most of all...

at the end of the day I am a lovely person.

I'd be a fool to think that my struggles are over with and moving on will be a piece of cake. However, I must remember that tomorrow is a new day filled with hope. Will it be hard? Probably, but this lovely person is going to try and take one tiny step forward. Even if I can put a sliver of my wounded heart back together, it will be a success. If I fail, I will try again the next day and the next until I see that not everything is so black and white.

1 comment:

  1. Thank the Lord, each day is renewed. I think He did this on purpose. :)